Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full
Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms
By: Gloria Furman
“God made me a mother because he jealously and rightly desires praise for his own name, and this is how he saw fit to do it. God aims to glorify himself through my family, and we all get carried along by his grace.”
“God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” [2 Cor. 9:8]
I wanted to really love this book. The title spoke to a desire I’m currently feeling: I don’t want my busy and exhausting life to keep me from treasuring Jesus.
Do I feel like this book fulfilled that claim for me? Not particularly.
If you’re only going to read a couple books this year, I’m not sure I would convince you this should be one of them.
I really struggled processing this book and talked to several people to figure out where the disconnect was for me.
I wondered if I had just read too many parenting books recently that this one felt superfluous. I wondered if I was just getting distracted too often while reading so I was missing things I shouldn’t have. I wondered if I was just overthinking everything and trying to add prescriptions where there shouldn’t be.
I’m not sure if it was any, all, or none of those reasons, but I just felt frustrated with the lack of application in this book. There was a disconnect for me with taking what I was reading and how to put legs on it.
Gloria Furman has had a lot of challenges in her motherhood with her husband’s nerve disease and with their relocation to a new culture in the Middle East. She definitely has faced a lot and experienced how much she needed Jesus to endure these challenges.
I can tell from reading her book that she knows her Bible and she has a lot of wisdom. She can articulate the gospel well and knows the blessings and promises we have in Christ.
I can tell from her parenting examples that I can relate to many of them. I’ve felt the same feelings of anger, exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed, etc.
What frustrated me with this book was what I felt was the gap between these two things.
I know the feelings. I know the gospel. But how exactly does the gospel speak into this exact parenting moment. What should I be saying to myself or to my kids? What is the action? What does grace actually look like in this specific parenting moment?
In the heat of the moment when two of my kids are fighting for the millionth time about whether it’s dark outside, another one is singing karaoke in a microphone with the volume of an entire show choir, and the other one is asking me all the questions, not listening for the answers and then asking the questions again, and I’m stressed about making dinner and cleaning the house to host small group, I am yelling at all of them. I’m not sure I have the wherewithal in that moment to be calm and sing the praises of the Psalm. The arguments have to be dealt with, the things have to be done, the microphone has to be unplugged. I need to know how to get from the big feelings to the gospel when I’m maxed out. When my hands are full.
Maybe she explained this and I missed it. Maybe I’m asking for too many specifics.
I’m not sitting here wishing this book was a parenting hack, five step guide to perfect parenting. I’m not looking for a mom-hype book that misses the depth of reality.
I’m just trying to figure out how to treasure instead of be exasperated. I know about God’s grace. But at the same time grace often feels like an enigma. I have a hard to time knowing how to specifically apply it. Sometimes I think grace is misapplied or misused.
Maybe I just need to read a book specifically about grace? She did mention Jerry Bridges’ book called The Discipline of Grace. That may be something that would resonate more with me right now.
All that to say, there were a lot of things Furman said in her book that I liked.
She says there is “beauty and brilliance and God-given dignity to a mother’s work.” What we do is not pointless, meaningless, or common.
She says we should see our “mundane moments for what they really are— worship.” There are thousands of opportunities every day to worship God by doing what we are called to do. Every time we feed our children and discipline our children and teach them what is right and wrong is a moment of worship. When we sacrifice our time and our bodies for our children, it’s an act of worship.
She says, “Our joy cannot be wrapped up in motherhood but only in God… The gifts that God has given mothers cannot be contained or quantified by their children.” We can’t turn motherhood into an idol that defines who we are or gives us value. Of course being a mom gives us joy, but our joy has to go beyond that to One who gave us the gift of our children.
She says, “When I view motherhood not as a gift from God to make me holy but rather as a role with tasks that get in my way, I am missing out on one of God’s ordained means of spiritual growth in my life.” It’s easy to get into the routine of motherhood and see it as a checklist every day. But the purpose of motherhood is more than checking the boxes, it’s a way that God grows us and growth happens in the hard times, the dark times, the weak times.
She says, “I say things like ‘I really need the baby to take his nap this morning’ which is a fine thing to say and a fine thing to look forward to. But if, come lunchtime, the nap hasn’t happened, and I’m so emotionally wasted by it that it ruins my afternoon, then I’ve probably put more faith in that nap than in the never-changing circumstances of the gospel.” This was a convicting thought to me. I feel like I have put faith in a nap and that I’ve allowed bad days to get worse because I’ve let those feelings take over everything— when things didn’t go as planned I gave up the rest of the day to that attitude.
She says, “My children, although they probably can’t articulate it yet, are relieved that when I treasure Jesus, they are freed from the burden of being the center of my world. No child should have to shoulder the weight of her mother’s glory and reputation.” I see this happen to a lot of kids and know how important it is for parents to be secure in their life and identity in Christ rather than in their role of parent which often hinges so much on their child’s performance and obedience.
She says, “I need to own up to my weaknesses so that I can prize Christ’s power.” I need to stop doing everything in my own power and control but seek the Lord’s strength for every day.
She says, “The Bible describes motherhood as neither a diminishing of a woman’s personhood nor the sum of her personhood. Womanhood, ultimately, is about a different person altogether… the highest aim of womanhood is being conformed to the image of Christ.” We are not less than mothers but we are more than mothers and our ultimate purpose to worship God in all we do and become more like him every day.
The copy of the book I read was a re-release of this book which was originally published in 2014. This new edition includes study questions at the end of each chapter. I liked the questions and felt like they would inspire good discussion. They also offered a deeper reflection into other Scriptures which would add to a study to spend time in the Word.
As far as I am aware, that’s the only change in this edition.
Recommendation
This book is not a bust. A lot of women have read this book and felt like it spoke to them in life-changing ways.
There wasn’t really anything in the book that I thought was problematic. Although, I do agree with another reviewer who commented on Furman’s story about being frustrated about her washing machine and needing to repent about her reaction to it being a little over the top. I may have differing ideas about when frustration becomes a sin.
But, anyway, I’m not going to tell you not to read it.
If you’ve never read a book about motherhood and the gospel, then this may be more likely to resonate with you.
If you’ve read a lot of books like this, I’m not sure this one will stand out amongst the others.
I think for where I’m at right now, this just wasn’t the book for me. It’s quite possible I could revisit it another month, another year, and be more connected with what Furman is trying to say.
**Received a copy via Crossway in exchange for an honest review**
You can order a copy of this book using my affiliate link below.
Share this book review to your social media!